The Joy of Interdependency
Part 1
My daughter required a hip transplant when she was in her 20s. She was living miles away in Boulder, Colorado at the time. Thoughts of her impending surgery weighed heavily upon my mind. She was so far away, awaiting surgery by a doctor that I had never met and knew nothing about.
Lying awake at night, I searched for a way to calm my mind and ease my fears. Not knowing her doctor was really a sticking point for me. Who was this doctor? What was her skill set? Was I giving this person more power and control over the situation than was warranted?
One sleepless night, lying there thinking about the situation, I started to thank the doctor whom I was relying upon to perform my daughter’s surgery. I realized that this doctor hadn’t become a doctor in a vacuum. This woman couldn’t have made it into, and through, medical school without the financial, physical and emotional support from a multitude of people. So, I started recognizing and thanking all of these people for the parts that they played in her becoming a surgeon.
Then I started thinking about the equipment that would be used during the operation. The operation couldn’t be performed without these tools. Someone had to have invented, and improved upon, this equipment. Someone had to have supported the people who created these tools. I added these people, whoever they were, to my list.
From there my mind went to the Denver hospital itself and all of the administrators, and medical and non-medical staff that were required to run the hospital where her surgery would take place. I added a lot more people to the list.
I thought about the physical building where the surgery would take place. There were people behind every brick that built the building. I thanked the people who created, transported and cemented every last brick into place.
The list of people connected to my daughter’s impending surgery continued to grow in my mind. These people turned from names on a list … into a web. A web that connected a vast network of people to my daughter’s surgery.
For every brick, every piece of equipment, every person working in the hospital there was a whole web of people that were connected to her surgery. People behind the scenes who fed, clothed, educated, created and built upon existing technology that would make my daughter’s surgery possible. I thanked all of these people from the bottom of my heart.
Every day I visualized this web that connected all of these people to my daughter’s pending surgery. Her surgery did not rest in the hands of one person, a surgeon whom I had never met. Her surgery would be performed in the intricate, interdependent connections of a world wide web. Knowing this eased my worried mind.
I must tell you that, by nature, I am an independent, problem solver type of person. I want to figure things out on my own, and I struggle asking others for help. When a situation arises where I find it necessary to ask for help, I tend to see it as a personal failure.
After I realized that the surgeon did not have complete control over my daughter’s surgery, I was able to move out of fear and into trust. After I moved into trust, something new and amazing happened. As soon as the airplane wheels left the tarmac in Boston on route to the Denver airport, people that I had never met began showing up, willing and eager to help.
It all began with my seatmate who lived in Denver. After sharing with her the reason for my trip to Colorado she gave me her phone number and insisted that I call her if there was anything I needed during my stay.
On the bus trip from the Denver airport to Boulder I realized that there were multiple drop off locations in Boulder. I had no idea which one I should get off at. I called my daughter and she didn’t know where these drop-offs were located. On top of that, I really didn’t want her venturing out, with her damaged hip, to pick me up. (This was pre-Uber days) My seatmate on the bus, overhearing the conversation, kindly offered to drive me to my daughter’s apartment.
One night in Denver after my daughter’s surgery I walked to a restaurant for dinner. It was a dark December evening and I was getting a bit nervous about walking back alone to the hospital in the dark. As I waited for my bill, the woman sitting at the next table struck up a conversation with me. When she learned that I was walking back to the hospital to spend the night with my daughter, she insisted that she drive me.
This may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people. I’m sure things like this happen to many people on a daily, or weekly, basis. These things had just never happened to me, in this magnitude before. I never doubted that these events were a result of the feelings of connectedness that I had been experiencing.
My daughter’s surgery went well and she was awake and out of post-op in record time. It has been years since my daughter’s surgery. In this time I often forget about, or ignore, this web of interdependency connectedness that exists in the world. I slip back into my old thought pattern that I need to figure things out all by myself.
Why is this I wonder?
To be continued…
With Love & Energy by the Pond,
Laurel
