Tamara: Harmonious Passion
Story Eight
Deep inside all of us, we have something that pushes us forward. Something that lights us up and fuels our passions. Many of us, myself included, struggle to find exactly what it is. Even after re-discovering that special something that we are born with, many of us don’t take the time to nurture the things that bring us joy. The things that give us an itch we need to scratch.
I’ve always been envious of my niece Tamara. From the time she was able to hold a crayon, she has been drawing. Through the years, I’ve watched as she honed her artistic skills. And because drawing and painting are an important part of who she is, Tamara takes care to arrange her life in a way that supports her time to create.
Tamara doesn’t make her living through her art, [yet]. She works four hours a day managing the US office of a British company. The job gives her the health benefits she needs and a base income she can rely upon. She doesn’t come home from work too tired and drained to do what she loves, to draw and paint.
Tamara’s work has hung in museum art shows, her studio has been included in local art tours, and her work is displayed in the homes of people who have purchased her paintings. Tamara doesn’t do it for recognition or money. She paints because she cannot, not paint. She simply can’t ignore what brings her joy.
Because Tamara isn’t dependent on selling her work for her livelihood she has the freedom to take her art in any direction that catches her fancy. She can paint what she wants to paint, not what people are likely to buy. This allows her to switch gears and go off in a new creative direction without worrying if the result is marketable. Tamara explains that when she ventures off into a previously unexplored direction, her work is initially wobbly and probably not something that people would want to purchase anyway. She feels fortunate to be able to create art that fills her heart and not, necessarily, her purse.
One might imagine that painting is always a source of joy for Tamara. However, this isn’t the case. There are times when creating art can feel darn right frustrating. Pursuing her passions isn’t a guarantee that it will always bring her pleasure. There are times when she feels quite miserable, even when doing something that she loves.
A while back, during a time she was feeling particularly discouraged and uninspired, Tamara wondered if she should continue to draw and paint. She asked herself if she needed to create art to be a person. She decided to take a break from drawing to grapple with this question.
For a year she didn’t go into her studio on a regular, daily basis as she had done in the past. She made a conscious point of not identifying herself as an artist. When people would ask her about her art she would tell them that she wasn’t working on anything at the moment and that she was taking time to see who she was outside of being an artist.
Tamara emerged from her relatively brief hiatus, accepting that she really can’t separate herself from the artist within. She discovered that while she didn’t have to create art to be a person, she just didn’t feel like herself when she didn’t paint.
Because Tamara began creating art at such a young age, she has no clear memory of a time when she hasn’t drawn or painted. It would appear that a lifetime of making art has slowly integrated itself into Tamara’s psyche, becoming an integral part of who she is. As a result, being an artist was incorporated into her identity at an early age. It is no wonder that it would be difficult, if not impossible, for Tamara to separate the two.
“Who am I if I’m not an artist?” Tamara asks. “I’m still me, but I’m a happier person when I paint.”
With Love & Energy by the Pond,
Laurel
laurel@energybythepond.com
