100 When I Was Growing Up Stories
Surviving Playground Bullies
Prompt#17 Relationships
There are only so many times that you can fake being sick when you don’t want to go to school. So many mornings in the fourth grade, I lay in bed, dreading getting up and going to school.
When I could not convince my mother to let me stay home, I boarded the school bus with a heavy heart. It was even more painful stepping off the bus at school.
Mrs. McAlister was my fourth-grade teacher; she was a notoriously mean and boring ogre. If she had been kinder and more interesting, my mind might not have drifted away from my school work to what was happening at home. I was acutely aware that our family farm was spiraling downhill. The following year the cows and equipment would be actioned off to the highest bidder to pay off the bank loans.
However, two girls named Carol and Sally were the real reason that I didn’t want to attend school. If either of these girls got mad at you, they would forbid everyone in the class to talk to you. As a result, the unfortunate ostracized girl would sit alone at lunch, and no one would play with her at recess. This situation might continue for days or weeks until Carol and Sally decided to lift their imposed sanction. Unfortunately, I was often on the receiving end of this treatment.
One day at recess Debbie and Linda, two girls in my class, and I began talking about this ridiculous situation. It wasn’t like we were friends with Carol and Sally. We never played with them at recess, even when they weren’t “mad at us.” That day we made a pact that the three of us would ignore those girls and play together even when one of us became the target of their censure.
Debbie and Linda moved away the following school year, leaving me without a close friend. However, just knowing that there were girls like them out in the world got me through the hard times until I found true friends to take their places. I once read that a real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out. I am grateful to Debbie and Linda for stepping into my life.
It took me many years to stop feeling angry when I recalled those times. It took even longer to feel empathy for Carol and Sally. I have no idea why they behaved as they did. Knowing their families, I would guess they were dealing with stresses and traumas at home. Because of this, I’ve learned to empathize with the toxic people I encounter and, equally important, how to keep them at arm’s length.
I have an internal radar system that allows me to spot a toxic person quickly. Because of this, I don’t need to read the story behind the magazine headlines that offer 15 Warning Signs of a Toxic Friendship. Luckily, none of those warning signs would apply to my friendships.
The friends I’ve collected through the years are a lot like my fourth-grade friends Linda and Debbie. My friends are always there to support each other, no matter what happens in our lives.
This year has brought forth a new challenge. I lost my best friend to cancer, and my sister and her grown daughters who lived nearby moved over a thousand miles away. As a result, I feel a bit like that fourth-grade girl standing friendless on the playground.
Still, I trust that friends like Debbie or Linda are out there somewhere, and I look forward to meeting them.
With Love & Energy by the Pond,
Laurel
