Laurel: One Step at a Time
Final Story
I just finished writing about Tamara who has been an artist since she was able to pick up a crayon. I wonder what my life would look like if I had been passionate about the same thing for six decades.
I’ve been more of a flutterer. Several years ago, during a nonsensical, unproductive conversation with my husband, he pointed out that I’m always going from one thing to another. Of course, I denied it.
Then, a year or so later, cleaning out my upstairs cubby, I learned that he was right. (I hate it when that happens.) I unearthed a pile of books, CDs, DVDs, and workbooks from various classes I had taken.
It was like old home day. I remembered all of them. Some of the books I read cover-to-cover, others I never finished. There were CDs that I listened to over and over again while driving in my car. I also found a pile of workbooks and certificates from classes that I had taken.
My first reaction was that I do indeed leap from one thing to another, and I suppose that in a manner of speaking, I do. At first glance, the collection appeared to be a haphazard selection of items encompassing a multitude of varied subjects. But it wasn’t a willy nilly collection. As I sat there reflecting, I remembered learning something important from each one of them.
The items weren’t, in fact, random and disconnected. Each was a stepping stone, that when placed end-to-end, created a pathway that led me from where I was at various moments in my life to where I am today.
Some of these books helped me to stop running away from myself and face my past. Before I began reading these books and taking these classes, I was living a fear-filled life. When I wasn’t busy, when a pause occurred in my life, I would find myself feeling very unsettled.
I knew something lurked just below the surface that I needed to explore. However, instead of sitting with it, I would rush out to find something to fill the void. I needed something to distract me from the memories and feelings that I didn’t want to face.
Recently, I read this line in an Ann Tyler book, “He’s never going to get the point of this if he keeps doing other things.” In the book, the character is referring to the watching of a television show. For me, it refers to my life. As long as I kept doing “other things” things that didn’t lead me in a new and positive direction, I would keep missing the point. The books in the cubby helped set me on the path to healing my life, to that place of getting the point.
Throughout my life, I’ve taken a few detours. I’ve discovered that detours are okay as long as they eventually returned me to my path. Detours helped me to reaffirm that I was on the path that was right for me, and I learned valuable lessons along the way.
Sometimes a detour turns into a Y that doesn’t lead back to your true path. This can be a good thing if the Y leads you in a new and exciting direction. In other cases a Y can lead straight into the wilderness, into a place where you don’t want to stay, but where you feel stuck. Turning around and finding your way back to your path can seem overwhelming, if not impossible.
I started a business with a friend on one of my detours. It was great fun and I did learn a lot. I learned things that support me in my current endeavors. However, one day it dawned on me that I was supporting her in accomplishing her life goals and ignoring my inner calling. We ended our partnership and I moved back onto my path.
Writing these stories about purpose-filled people finding their joys and passions has been very beneficial. It reaffirmed that while it may appear that I am leaping from one thing to another after the dust settles I will discover the method in my madness.
So why do I read books, take classes and write stories that few, if any people will ever read? Because it brings me joy and happiness. It feels right, and it is who I am.
I just finished writing about Tamara who has been an artist since she was able to pick up a crayon. I wonder what my life would look like if I had been passionate about the same thing for six decades.
With Love & Energy by the Pond,
Laurel
laurel@energybythepond.com
