Judgment, Conspiracy Theories & My Skittle Machine

Decades ago, when I became acutely aware of when I was standing in judgment of people, I created a “Skittle Machine” in my imagination.

My skittle machine was a square-shaped wooden box with a glass front and an opening on the top. The body of the box had U-shaped skittle catchers and pegs placed in intervals from top to bottom. There were nine slots across the bottom of the box.

When I found fault with a person, I would visualize opening the box’s lid and pouring in a package of skittles. The skittles would free fall into the machine. They would bounce off the pegs in the machine or get stuck in the U shapes as they made their way down to the nine slots at the bottom.

The pegs and U-shaped catchers represented this person’s life experiences and beliefs, which influenced their pattern of thinking, feeling, and behavior. Their responses created the color pattern in the slots at the bottom of the machine.

These colors symbolized this person’s unique “skittle colors” personality. I would see their color combination in my mind and think to myself, “Yup, that is just who they are. It is their skittle color combination, pure and simple.” How could I judge their choices when they came by them so honestly?

I also came to realize that these patterns weren’t etched in stone. People can and do change. A single eye-opening incident, the loss of a loved one, an accident, or just growing and evolving could re-arrange the pegs and U shapes in the machine. As a result, when the skittles fell through this new arrangement, they would create a different color combination that reflected their changed personalities.

My Skittle Machine helped me learn to be more accepting of people and to move away from judgment. As the pegs and U shapes in my own Skittle Machine re-arranged themselves, I became more adept at honoring people for who they were.

Driving home from a friend’s house this week, I found the need to revisit my Skittle Machine. As we sat drinking tea during our visit, this friend told me that a global sex trafficking ring operates in the tunnels under the White House. US Special Op forces have been removing children from the tunnel. This is only one of the conspiracy theories she has mentioned in the past year.

I have other friends who won’t get vaccinated because they believe that Bill Gates put a tracking device in the vaccine. I also have a friend who won’t see vaccinated people because the vaccine causes shedding and would impact her reproductive health.

I was recently asked how I can stay friends with people who think like this. I admit that the thought had crossed my mind. However, I cautioned myself not to let my head get ahead of my heart.

I will remain friends with all of them because I love them. I know that there will be moments when we meet on common ground during our conversations. There will be times when I will see the love and the kindness that coexists alongside the conspiracy theories.

I don’t know how the pins and U-shaped catchers have shifted in their lives in these past two years resulting in their embracing conspiracy theories. In the same vein, I don’t know how my skittle color combination arranged itself in a pattern resulting in my not believing in conspiracy theories.

I know I want these people in my life regardless of, despite of, and maybe even because of their skittle color combinations.

With Love & Energy by The Pond,

Laurel